Reference List on Emotional Literacy
Reference List on Emotional Literacy: a Platform Follow-up
by Lynn Konnerth
Director of NoVES Sunday School for Ethics
On Sunday Feb. 20, I gave a platform about Emotional Literacy and Empathy. If you missed the platform and would like to hear it, cds of it are available from the person working the sound system at NoVES Sunday platforms.
Several people approached me after my talk for the names of the books I referenced. Below are the books I found most helpful in shaping my ideas and that offer ways to support children in their development of empathy.
Achieving Emotional Literacy -- A Personal Program to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence, Claude Steiner, Ph. D., Avon Books, 1997
While this book is written for adults who want to further develop their emotional literacy, it has a thorough description of what EL is and its importance to individuals and our world. The book includes a questionnaire to identify areas in one's own emotional literacy that may be weak, then suggestions for strengthening them. There is a section on EL and children, but it is brief.
Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues That Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing, Michele Borba, Ed.D., Jossey- Bass, 2001
The virtues this book focuses on are empathy, conscience, self-control, respect, kindness, tolerance, and fairness. Each section has an in depth discussion of the virtue with examples, then a short checklist for rating a child's strengths in the area and ideas for activities and parenting styles that encourage development in that area. There are also useful lists of books and videos, divided by age levels that address the topics.
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline; The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation, Becky A. Bailey, Ph. D., William Morrow and Company, 2000
By discipline, the author means teaching children how to behave, not controlling children's behavior. I've had this book for a while and have been quite influenced by parts of it, particularly the encouragement to view each child's behavior as having positive intent behind it. The basic skills she identifies are composure, assertiveness, making choices, encouragement, attributing positive intent, empathy, and consequences. Her approaches are strong in preserving a child's self-esteem while encouraging positive behaviors.
How to Raise a Child with a High EQ (Emotional Quotient) -- A Parent's Guide to Emotional Intelligence, Lawrence E. Shapiro, Ph. D., Harper Collins Publishers, 1997 This book provides both the theory behind the approaches and great games and activities to do with children, to develop the identified skill areas. The author covers moral emotions, thinking skills, problem solving, social skills, self-motivation, emotional awareness and even computer and cyberspace issues.
Nurturing Good Children Now: 10 Basic Skills to Protect and Strengthen Your Child's Core Self, Dr. Ron Taffel, Golden Books, 1999 The author addresses influences outside the nuclear family that influence a child's behavior and how parents can counteract them. He focuses on mood mastery, expressiveness, peer smarts, body comfort, team intelligence, respect, passion, focus, caution, and gratitude. Each trait is elaborated on, core threats are identified and parenting approaches that take each child's temperament into account are offered. I haven't taken time to explore this book as much as I want to. I suspect it has some gems of ideas to try out.
Raising Respectful Kids in a Rude World; Teaching Your Children The Power of Mutual
SUNDAY SCHOOL NEWS
Ethical Culture News, March 2011, Page 11 Respect and Consideration, McKay, McKay, Eckstein, and Maybell, Prima Publishing, 2001 Some ideas in this book I really like. Mutual respect is a main theme. The family values they list are very in keeping with values of ethical culture. I especially appreciate a framework the book presents for looking at the intentions of "misbehavior" and how to respond differentially to the hierarchy of intents they present.
Respectful Parents Respectful Kids; 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict Into Co-operation, Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson. PuddleDancer Press, 2006
This book brings Marshall B. Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication approach to parents. It starts with a section on under lying issues of respect and co-operation. It then has sections for parents on the 7 key areas; Parent with Purpose, See the Needs Behind Every Action, Create Safety, Trust and Belonging: Inspire Giving: Use a Language of Respect; Learn Together As You Go; and Make Your Home a No-Fault Zone. The book contains 70 pages of activities and materials for families to use together to explore and practice the skills of non-violent communication. This is the book that makes a strong connection between emotions and the needs that drive them.
Teaching Right from Wrong; 40 Things You Can do to Raise a Moral Child, Arthur Dobrin, Berkley books, 2001.
The author, an Ethical Culture leader, organized the book into sections about feelings, reason, self-esteem, discipline, habits, prejudice, values and community. Each section starts with a discussion of the research and theory of how a person develops in that area. It then lists activities and ways of interacting with children that can support their positive development in that area. Lists of these activities are usually available on the front table at NoVES. Keeping one on the fridge would be a helpful reminder to habituate these activities.